When it comes to friends and the joy that life brings with their presence, I cannot but write from a happy place. When I think of the impact that friends really make and the way that they make life worth living, I realize that good friends deserve the type of love usually reserved for family.
As the saying goes ‘to have no friend is like dying without a witness’. When I think of the many darlings in my life (male and female), I cannot but wish you the same quality of friendship and love that I have received from these people and I have tried to be their right hand also.
In genuine friendships lies the true fountain of youthfulness, an elixir of sorts. Not everyone is lucky with friends but the secret to gaining good friends may lie in your loving yourself first, not showing desperation and also in your goodwill. Self-love allows you to determine what is right for you, what associations cause you to blossom and otherwise. Understanding that sometimes, you aren’t even sad but it’s the people around you that cause you to feel inadequate is key. Real friends don’t have time for unhealthy competition or drama, and certainly don’t consider hurting or bringing you down a hilarious spot. They sure don’t take undue advantage of your selflessness either. Be deliberate about who stays in your life, choose your own friends, and if you happen to be chosen, remain only if it brings you joy and has the potential to make you better than your old self, yet giving you room to be of service and impact positively too.
When you realize that you don’t have to explain yourself so hard, you don’t have to prove that you are a good person, they get it- they get you; they will defend you in your absence before they get a chance to talk with you, and if you have erred, they’ll scold you in private without putting you down.
Screw up or go through a difficult time, only then will you see things and people for what truly is. You’ll find your soul-buddies waiting earnestly for you on the other side of the divide, ushering you into light and recovery. Those, are your true friends; not only do they stick around, you’ll never find them amongst those who kick you when you are on the ground already. And if anyone kicks you while you have fallen yet, those are the kind of people to be weary of always!
When you are stuck up, and the odds are against you, and you look to family and romance for courage and it’s not coming, when your journey is proving so long without a finish-line in sight, I dare say; look to a friend.
Never underestimate how much good a little time-out with a darling friend can do. Good friends believe in you no matter what, you don’t always have to explain yourself because they get it, and if you have acted out of character, they are willing to understand what led you, their mind isn’t ever made up, you’ll always get a chance to speak your truth.
When you anticipate a good tiding, you can already imagine how their hearts would receive it, your happiness is a great boost to their joy and life and if a difficulty distracts you, they are not complete in their own joy until you are fine.
Many a victim of depression, sorrow, suicide have lacked a true friend. True friends don’t suffocate you with nosy questions, and sometimes your healing may require you to isolate yourself, but if you make the decision to do so, never take the backdoor, never be without courage, never give up on yourself, think of those who would give up so much to see you happy and bask in the glory of a new day.
Many times, family doesn’t even come near showing us the kind of faith and love that we get from dutiful friends. You truly cannot appreciate your journey for what it is until you are able to share the highs and lows with great friends. And when you arrive at crossroads, you will find that whatever choice you make will demand from you bravery, you can only be strong for so long, but it won’t tarry before your heart begins to seek the nod and nudge of a good friend. Real friends are the true heroes.
All I can say is watch what you eat, watch what you say and watch the company you keep. Friends are like a protecting shield. If you are by yourself for too long, you will become easy target for predators. In your marriage, in your family, you will be more balanced and more protected when you allow good friends shine their light in your world , and you don’t be about always taking but be true and place some good value on loyalty.
I wish you the love of true friends, the discernment to identify them and a good heart to nurture their delicate and exhilarating love. And if you are yet to find at least one real friend, you be the one.
With love,
From Kaffy.