There are a lot of experiences that make up a lifetime, it is hardly the big moments but the in-betweens that chip away at our days and years and silently forges us. Not a bad thing, since we are not immortals, our lives are a add-up of moments and recurring influences, so we are even. However, just what types of influences are we getting or giving especially to our kids in their formative beginnings?
Childhood, no doubt is the foundation upon which lifetime experiences are going to be developed, this is why the role of family in providing a loving, safe , warm and nurturing space for growth of self and of our children is not one to toy with. It is good that in spite of all cultural hindrances , we come to terms with the work required to create a conducive home for our kids to thrive even before the impact of it is glaring only in few years to come. Stability at the home front is the collective responsibility of both parents who have a healthy relationship. The true definition of a broken home is not the separation of a couple who can't live together respectfully, but raising of kids around dysfunctional relationships of all types, romantic or not.
Our lives reflect in theirs and theirs in ours, so it is with all intent that we should consider loving our kids beyond giving them gifts and kisses, or being there for them in so many other ways that does not factor in the strategic role of the environment we subject them to. Showing love to children whilst at the same time coexisting with a spouse with whom you share a home but not a soul is a burden, a relationship strained from lies, intrigues, arguments, gainsay, all of that emotional stress,those are the sharp ends chipping away at your child's childhood.
Single parenting may not be ideal but is definitely a healthier option to raising a child by both parents in a toxic marriage, both parents can love their children and spend quality time with them based on an agreed timetable. Your child doesn't have to pick who to love, he can love both his parents together or individually. The responsibility is to protect his fragile mind. Quite frankly, the length or continued existence of a marriage is not an attestation to its quality, but if you and your spouse continue to work on yourselves, pragmatically of course, it's totally worth it and your service to family is a victory for all.
Overall, whether you are raising your child happily living with your spouse, or by yourself with support from family and friends, whatever you do, help your child prepare to experience happiness and fulfilling relationships without feeling the urge to rock a smooth sailing boat with negative emotions as a way of making sure it is genuine. It comes back to us as parents, how effectively we are able to use and give love knowing its telling impact on our children.
With Love,
From Kaffy.❤